Telemarketers, Read This Before Calling Me

Telemarketers, let’s get something straight.  I don’t hate you.  I respect that you have to make a living and understand that the phone is a powerful tool.  What I want to do is lay out the ground rules for effectively selling to me.  While I’m just one guy, I suspect most people will respond favorably to these rules too.

1.  Respect my wishes.  Call me at work and unless the data center is on fire, you will probably get a polite, if not cordial reception.  Call me at home in violation of US do-not-call laws and I will make you cry like a Libyan pilot in a no fly zone.

2.  Have a reason for calling.  “Just checking in” is not a valid reason unless I’m your parole officer.  I stopped what I was doing to talk to you, now make it worth my while.

3.  Understand who I am.  At least have a vague notion of the type of customer I may be.  Don’t be like the woman who recently called me to see if I was interested in buying the same type of software that my employer sells.

4.  Speak. Clearly. And slowly enough that I can understand you.  This is going to sound harsh, but if your grasp of English is so weak that every call is like climbing Mount Everest, get another job!  You don’t see me trying to sell you something in Hindi, do you?

5.  If you don’t reach me and decide to leave a voicemail, see #4 above.  Leave me a clear, concise message and for the love of God, speak your call back number slowly and distinctly.  By the way, don’t try to leave a “mysterious” message or one that implies it is an emergency.  I will likely call you back quickly, but when I find out you tricked me, I will devote large amounts of time and effort to making your life miserable.

6.  Be confident.  Don’t mumble.  Don’t be bashful.  Tell me why your product is the absolute best.  Be able to defend yourself when I tell you we use the competition.  I will give you a fair hearing, but if you just fold like a sheet of paper, I will end the call.

7.  Be human.  I get that you have to read from a script sometimes.  Be willing to deviate when I ask you a question.  That usually means I’m interested.

8.  Ask for the appointment or sale!  I can’t count the times that the call has gone pretty well, I was interested, and then the salesperson just drifted off with a timid, “Well, I’ll just call and check in again in six months.”

9.  Keep honing your art.  Never stop learning how to be more effective.  Personally, I've taken the sales course offered by my friend, Art Sobczak and recommend it strongly.  Take a look at his site: http://www.businessbyphone.com/

Friends, don’t be ashamed of what you do for a living, just do it well!